I wish..just once more,

"Birds are flying over Europe skies, tell me please why can't I?"
-Alexander Rybak

Another falldown was coming through my way. I wish I could turn back the time. I wanted to be free; free from feeling of loneliness, hatred, jealousy, greedy, scared. None of people could understand what was happening inside me. My attitude reflexes the bitterness that eating inside my honor soul.

I wanted to be like birds, flying from one side to other side of the world, discovering, sensing; any of these I had never get a chance to do it. My life is like a book of law, doing things practically. I never actually be 'free'. It is like a remote control- doing things as what I am told to do.

A loneliness never seems to left me alone. I am lonely . Friends, sometimes they cheer me up. But still I'm feeling lonely. I'm searching for something that can accompany my lonely soul; not externally. Yet when I'm alone, a flash of never-returned memories suddenly call to my silver screen. Is my past still haunting for me? Do they want to see me dying once more??

I'm so scared with things going to be happened, especially if its meant to be me...I had had enough with broken me please Ya Allah, I pledge Your Mercy..Astagfirulllah, I beg your Pardon, please protect me, protect my love ones, give me strength to bear with it..

Wish not to cry again, but my eyes are not good liars

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